i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
