Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
