I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
