Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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