I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
