don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
