have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
