omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize