You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
