my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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