I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
