i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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