Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
