You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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