I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
