She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
