I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
