just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize