Say something about gay babies.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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