He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
