I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
