Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
