she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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