note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
