We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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