i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize