I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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