you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
please come you make the beer taste better
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
