just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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