I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize