Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
