i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize