so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
