I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
