okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
