Nicole vs. Life
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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