Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
