my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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