We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
