I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
