Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
