He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
