I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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