I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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