And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
