he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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