hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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