how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
