At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
