he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Two words: blizzard sex
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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