ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
