Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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