We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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