My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
