..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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