You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
