toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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