I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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