So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
