wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
