he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
