apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
