ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize