He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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