I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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