i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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