I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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