Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
