It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
my liver is dry heaving
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
