Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
