When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
